OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
