yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
