oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
