i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I would fuck him just for his dog
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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