**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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