You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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