u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
