he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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