Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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