The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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