ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
