Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize