Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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