Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
