so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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