Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
