Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize