Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
