I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
