honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
