Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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