HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize