Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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