My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
