no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
