the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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