8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
