Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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