just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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