We should be called the Road Head Warriors
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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