69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
