jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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