I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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