Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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