whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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