Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
