On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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