I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
