you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
