my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
