Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
