Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
