just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
