please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
worst night to have a conscience
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize