I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
