she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
