No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
