Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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