Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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