were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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