I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
