please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
