I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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