Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
