ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
