thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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