Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I don't think brook has ever known best
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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