got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
