Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
