She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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