you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
