My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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