Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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