Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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