I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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