I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
