Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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